like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
there was a trapeze. enough said
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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