Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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