so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
