ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
