Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
