Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
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At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
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Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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