i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize