This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
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This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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