have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
