Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
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I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
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My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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