I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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