i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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