all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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