I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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