So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
