redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
