Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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