After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
