Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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