I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
