dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
