Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
