And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
sex in a hospital.. check
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
