Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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