the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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