Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
this just has baby written all over it
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
