and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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