Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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