I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
