WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
