I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
