What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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