so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
