sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
please don't ironically join a cult
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