If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
