real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
