she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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