The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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