just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize