i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
