the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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