I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
