I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
