just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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