I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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