Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
