it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
