I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
