Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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