You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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