my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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