sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so that wasnt chicken after all
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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