Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
no, he came in my armpit
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
