Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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