I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
