drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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