Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
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Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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