im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry about my life...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
